Time in a Bottle

Wow.  Two years have passed since I last visited this blog.  When 2 weeks seem like a lifetime ago, two years seem like ... forever!  And yes, many things have transpired since then.

We traded in our 26' travel trailer for a 31' Class A motorhome.  

While we loved the trailer, we were getting tired of the hitching and unhitching, and I was becoming increasingly concerned about the longevity of my Expedition.  So they both went away and the A.C.E. came home.  We love, love, LOVE it.

I took a trip to say good-bye to a person who changed my life forever.  She died in July, 2015, after a long battle with cancer.  This is her pooch, who lives on with her parents.  I miss her.

I finished my first crocheted afghan.  It's HUGE!  And Smudge thoroughly enjoyed laying on it before it was tucked safely away from kitty claws.  

We used the motorhome a lot.  Jed & Tilly love being in it.  Jed's favorite place is the couch, and we graciously allow him to sit in comfort.  The dinette seats aren't bad -- kind of like a recliner!  Tilly's favorite place is on the dash.  

I turned 60(!).  It was a sweet celebration with special friends.  

I had surgery -- my first ever! -- on my trigger finger.  It was a great excuse to take a week off from school.  But it didn't stop me from camping 3 days post-surgery!

And I finished my "Sharon Square" afghan.  While visiting my friend before she died, she was able to show me her version of granny squares.  

Another 60th birthday was celebrated.  It was a "family" affair.  (There's a metaphor in here somewhere about the fuzzy picture ...)

And ... we decided to get married.  We figured that 60 was a good age to finally do something grown-up. 

We'd planned a very small ceremony, to be held in my backyard.  Invitations were sent -- some as a more of announcement.  But we were so delightfully surprised when high school friends and family from across the country came to celebrate with us.  We had an incredibly wonderful weekend!

We did our own flowers, going to the Flower Market to pick them out.  

Signing the marriage documents.  In the kitchen.  

No, I'm NOT pregnant.  The shirts were made by a dear friend in another state who didn't have the opportunity to fit them to us.  We wore them proudly and were grateful for their loose fit.  It was a pretty warm day!

And the dogs were even a part of the day.  

The deed is done.  We're hitched.

Making sure we had the right rings.  

School ended, and fire season began.  Looked lots closer than it was, but it provided a few days of excitement across the wash from the house.

And then things got really interesting.  Actually, they were stressful beyond words.  Tilly, at not quite 3 years of age, herniated a disc in her neck.  Beagles are not known for being a stoic breed, and she was true to form, screaming for 3 days and putting Jed right over the edge.  July 5th saw us heading to a neurologist in Orange Co. for surgery -- just 3 days before our long-awaited month-long trip to Oregon and Washington.

Surgery was successful, and we went ahead and took off on our vacation/honeymoon, albeit 3 days late, with Tilly in tow along with Jed and Casey.

Tilly, with her "zipper".  

Where she spent the whole vacation, except for potty breaks. 

The gang, ready to rock and roll.

We headed north, and met up with my best friend from Jr. High that I hadn't seen in almost 40 years.

From there it was a wonderful time away.  Tilly's recovery was slow but steady.  Managing her pain was a delicate dance, but staying home wouldn't have made a difference.  We enjoyed incredible vistas and spent time with friends we hadn't seen in a couple of years.

In the Redwoods.  We were here 2 nights.  

The little dogs enjoyed hanging out in their kennels outside.  It was a way to get Tilly outside and keep her quiet, and as long as Casey was outside with us she was happy.  

We'd planned to stay in Ft. Bragg for 4 nights and rent a car to see the area.  But Tilly's surgery cut that part of the trip short.  With only one night in town we spent the day at the famous Glass Beach.  While it was fun, there certainly wasn't much glass to be found (not that we were going to take any!).

Lunch stop along the northern CA coast.  It was actually a campground, but hardly anyone was there so we found a nice view and enjoyed a leisurely lunch.

We hit blackberry season at its peak.  Oh. My. GOSH.

Adding a little chocolate sauce and ice cream made them even better.

A week into the trip Tilly had her staples removed.  The vet was wonderful, and we were grateful for finding someone who would work with us even though we weren't one of her clients.  

While in Oregon we got to go on a short rafting trip down part of the Rogue River.  Lots of fun!

Our campsite somewhere along the route.  

And we found some of the most beautiful campsites ever.  This was in the small town of Garabaldi, Oregon, behind a small motel.  

Our view from the rig.  Not too shabby!

Our Washington friends enjoying crab.  I enjoyed watching.

We started the Fall with getting the dogs blessed at church.  After Tilly's summer and Jed's history, they need all the blessings they can get.

And we purchased electric bikes.  What an incredible experience!  I'm so happy to be able to ride with A. now and not worry that I'm holding her back.

October 2016 found us in Mesa, AZ, at the annual RVW National Convention.  We went for the friends, not the Convention.  What a special time it was!

And we bought a "toad".  Now we can tootle around when we're camped somewhere and not have to take the rig.  Yes, it's an extravagance.  

We rode our bikes in the Seal Beach Christmas Parade -- all 3 blocks of it.  But it was fun

And finally, we brought welcomed 2017 by going to the Rose Parade -- RV-style!  It was lovely, and we thoroughly enjoyed the experience.  Friends and family joined us, making the day even more special.

I think I'll work a little more at keeping this current.  It's fun to look back at what I've written about in the past, and it makes me appreciate those who can blog on a daily basis.  Maybe when I retire -- at the end of this school year! -- I can do the same, or at least write on a weekly basis.  

Yours, Mine, and Ours

We did it.

I don't think it was totally irrational, but it sure was close.

Tilly has joined our family, and is our first adventure in co-parenting.

Jed is taking it all in stride.  Kind of.  He's always a gentleman, but at times he gets just a little anxious and reverts to his anxious behavior -- humping his bed.  Bless his heart.  But he's a gentle giant, and lets Tilly roll all over him.  And every now and then he even nudges her to play, too.  But mostly he just gets out of her way and waits for her to fall asleep.

Getting another dog is my admission to myself that Jed's not getting any younger.  He'll be 8 (how did THAT happen?!) in another month, and as my sweetie pointed out, it might be prudent to bring in another pup to soften the blow a bit when the inevitable happens.  NOT that I'm expecting it any time soon.  He's in good health.  But given his track record, I have to say that sometimes I feel like we're living on borrowed time. 

Tilly is a true sweetheart.  Still very much all puppy, with a joy for life that makes me happy.  I'm glad she's joined our little family.

Almost

It almost happened.

Two weeks ago the human love of my life tiptoed on the edge of that slippery slope to all places dark and definite.

She had a brain bleed.  Why?  We'll never know.

She's okay now, just enduring the residual low-grade headache that will be part of her life for the next weeks or maybe months. She doesn't seem as sharp to me, but not so much that others who don't know her would notice. Just little things. Hopefully that will disappear as her headaches will with time.

I've never been so absolutely terrified in my life. I've never known what it felt like to stare loss in the face like I did that Sunday afternoon when I had to tell her that her brain had bled and we were going to ICU.   At that moment I knew beyond a doubt that her presence in my life was more important than anything I'd ever experienced before. I couldn't lose her. And I couldn't lose us.

This was written almost 4 months ago.  She's still doing well, and we can chuckle about her mild memory lapses.  A visit to her doctor about a month ago simply confirmed what we'd already figured out -- that this will either go away, or it will be the new normal.  

I love her all the more.

A New Year

It's been a good year.  It's been a tough year, too.  Moving from my "home" school of 16 years (thanks, low enrollment) to a new school, new grade level, and new Principal.  But change is good, and I'm really believing it this year.   

I traveled to the East Coast (sorry, Jed) with the human love of my life.

We saw the sights of New England and even New York City.

Acadia National Park was gorgeous.  

Need I say more?

And then there was the food.  I liked the onion rings a whole lot better than the fried clams.  And give me a good ol' ribeye over lobster any day!

Going to the Twin Towers Memorial site was truly a highlight of the trip.  The hardest part of the visit was seeing how many dogs were used in the initial phases of rescue and recovery. It made me cry …

I even got to introduce A. to the Chelsea Market.  Lots of fun -- and sensory overload!

There was family to meet and a wedding to attend.  It was hot.  But I got to see fireflies.  And dance with my sweetheart.

Just before the heat and humidity finally got to me we went home.  But lots of memories of a wonderful non-trailer vacation.

The year didn't end there.  We took several trips in the trailer, enjoying time with friends.  But I realized that those I wanted to spend time with were already with me and I didn't need anyone else to have fun with.

And then there was -- and still is -- school.  Leaving my work home of 16 years was traumatic, to say the least.

And on to sixth grade!  Who knew how much I was going to enjoy them?  But I do, and am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to grow and learn with them.

We even had a couple of brush fires outside our back door.  I'm waiting for the cancellation notice on my homeowner's insurance now … sigh.

The home front has benefitted from some sprucing up, too.  New master bathroom, paint all over, and some improvements in the backyard.  Makes being home so enjoyable!

And throughout the year was my constant companion, Jed.  Apart from the trip back East, every other trip was taken with him.  I wouldn't want it any other way.

2014 promises to be full of adventure and new experiences.  But most of all ... Life with Jed.

It's All Good … for Now

Friday was a busy day.  Kids at school were looking forward to their weekend, and the staff was looking forward to the luncheon provided by one of our sponsors.

And I was anticipating Jed's visit with the eye vet at 4:15.  It had been almost 6 months to the day that the tumor was discovered in his eye and removed, with better-than-average odds that we'd gotten it all.  He'd been back for re-checks twice before and gotten a clean bill, but this time felt different.  I could see something near the colored part of his eye and was scared to death that it was a recurrence of the tumor.  So I went in with lots of fear and grieving for something that might cause him to lose his eye.

Well.  Silly me.  But maybe not silly me.  I guess I should pat myself on the back for being so hyper-vigilant.  Without that nagging inside voice he'd have never survived getting poisoned.  He'd have become paralyzed -- or worse -- when he yelped when trying to move his head and I took him immediately to the vet.  And when I felt what I was certain was a fatty tumor under his arm but still wanted to get it checked out I could never have guessed that it would lead to eye-saving surgery.

The vet was delighted with the "health" of his eye.  What I'd been seeing was simply scar tissue.  No tumor.  She dilated his eye and looked deep inside.  No tumor.  No more eye drops.

So now we're rejoicing over the fact that Jed is whole, and seemingly tumor-free.  

There will be another check-up in 3 months.  I'll probably lose sleep the week leading up to his visit.  But if we've dodged the bullet once, we can do it again.  Right?

Waiting

As we wait with great anticipation and excitement for that day we have designated as the birth of our Savior, I wait with anxiousness and dread over what could signal the end of what has been my whole, beautiful boy.

Last summer began with the news that Jed had a malignant melanoma growing inside his eye.  It was God's grace that led my vet to discover it.  Less than 24 hours after the discovery it was out, his eye was intact, and Jed began the long recuperation.  

He's done just fine, allowing me to slop drops into his eye every day.  

And now we come to the 6-month mark.  Jed goes to the vet on Friday, and I just can't shake the feeling that the news isn't going to be good.  I'm not a vet, but when I try to pull his eyelid up I can see a spot.  Maybe it's nothing.  Maybe it's just scar tissue.  But I'm afraid.  Really.  

I want to tell the world.  I want everyone to know that I'm scared and I want to believe that if enough people prayed hard enough that my boy would be spared from any more insults to his body.  

But I won't tell the world.  Except through this blog that nobody reads anymore.  It's my way to scream into the wind without being heard, and I need to scream until I have no more voice.  I want my boy to be okay.  I want him to live the rest of his life with all that's happened to him a distant memory.  No more pain.  No more worry.

God, can you hear just my voice?  Would you cut us a break this time?  Please?

Choosing

This is my boy.  He is the world to me.  Don't ever ask me to choose between him and anything else because the "anything else" will lose.  Every time.

  I understand the tension between the conflicting demands on my life.  It happens every other weekend when I leave my home with Jed in tow, knowing that he's stressed out.  But I try to make the best of the situation because I love "two" very much.  It's not easy.  

  On the other hand, when I feel like there's no room for me in someone's life it's really, really, really easy to walk away.  I won't compete.  Period.